Flashing Lights
You know I spend a lot of this beautiful day thinking about the different flashes of light I have experienced throughout my life. Not in the visual sense but in the moments of clarity and ignition that happen. I never really have any idea when they will come about and I really dont ever know what form or direction they will take either, but it feels like they always stick in my presence, long after they happen. Its kind of funny the paradoxical nature of them, on one hand it seems almost like they dont even exist at all but then on the other hand they can feel undeniable. I have experienced some that seem like little hints towards a direction I was unclear about, or the open a door to a slight new possiblity. On the other hand, I have had some that totally changed my perspective on the world and feel almost as if they led me down an entirely new path of existence. The thing is though, no matter what happens after, or where my life leads after I follow one of these lights, it always feels like it was the right choice. Not always because what I want to happen, happened…. but because it reflects who I want to be, someone who listens to subtle essence of life. And you know, I can honestly say that I have never been more myself than I am now. I have learned to trust in myself, trust in what I can do and trust who I am at the core. And where I am now, it is clear that who I am helps a lot of people in different ways. Not that I really feel I do anything special, but more like I am lucky that the universe uses me in ways that helps those around me, its such a wonderful gift.
Its like, I had one spark that led me down a path of creation that was extremely challenging at first, but now holds new friendships and collaborations that are wondeful to see come to life. It was something that seemed impossible at the start but has since grown into opporunity that we all share togather, and I really love that I am part of it. Then I have other sparks that snuck around on me and pretended to lead me one way but then turned me an entirely other way. Like, one day I simply wanted to be extremely kind, and so I was, not really worried about why… but I just wanted to share warmth and caring. And in doing so, I somehow helped someone who was struggling with extreemly difficult things even though they were jut a stranger. And now, we are good friends and share all the time togather. Yeah, sometimes it asks me to do things or show myself in a way that can be terrifying, but every time I do the universe responds with wonderful experiences. Still not sure why it happens or why life lines up these openings, but I am so glad I have learned to embrace them as they come.
Wolves
So I was talking to a Lakota Indian friend of mine about spirit animals and the connection and meaning they have. They were saying how since they met me they always got a wolf vibe from me. Its always amused me when that comes up because its been so prevelant in my life, so ofc I wanted to dive deeper. They began to say how I had this certain stillness about me, but my eyes were always clear, like I was watching over everything, but from a place of awareness and presence. They said how it was strange, that whenever I am around them, they felt watched over, like they could take a risk or open in a way they couldnt before because it felt like I supported them. I kind of laughed at the idea and was like, uhhhhh I really dont think I do all of that. And they said something that kind of struck me, they said, its not that you do anything, but after meeting you it was clear, you are the kind of spirit that will not let others be harmed. I pointed out that I am not really oppositional or forceful like that and then they said to me, yeah, but I have seen you step into fires that were not your own, only because you can take it when others cannot. It was a pretty powerful statement and kind of left me quiet. And they proceeded to share how it is not really power that makes them feel that way, but a recognition that I am a kind and gentle beast. A wolf does not need to charge the bear for bear to know a wolf is nearby. Which was kind of funny because it reminded me of another friend of mine who used to invite me over to her apparentment often when she had company. And I asked her why one day, when she knows I really dont like to be around randoms unless im in the mood. And she said, because when you show up, everyone else calms down XD. So wierd, but ok then hahaha.
But you know, I really like being a wolf. The idea of being soft when I need to be, but rough and resillient when it calls for it. I like my solitude, but love those in my pack fiercely. That it can be 1000 years since I have seen you, but the second we connect you are home with me. Plus I like being a little scroungy at times lol, and I love it when someone plays with my hair hahaha. Anyway, enough animal talk, of to the night sky for me Awooooo XD
