Feels like I have been here before
It is a strange thing that has been happening lately and it is kind of taking me back a bit. There are all these strange little occurances that are nodding back to things that have happened before. Its really kind of wierd, and I am used to seeing things that are wierd XD. I am not sure whats going on really.
So it started with a random stranger responding to me that sparked something in them that reminded them of when they ran into me….who knows when. But I could see it in their head when it clicked and they were just all like heyyyy i know you. Not really that big of a deal, some people just remember me i guess, but again, could just have one of those faces. But it was a nod to how I reminded her to enjoy the simple joys of her life, because we were joking about tricking the register to keep the line moving. But still, not unusual I guess. But then I was talking to a new friend and they were telling me things that I knew I heard before, but was impossible. And it was like word for word, and something about how I am and how i behave and how they tried to box me in or figure me out, but couldnt seem to do so. Also, not that unusual to happen as I do hear that a lot, but both togehter started peaking my interest. Then my brother did something that was kind of, exaactly the same as what had happened before. He was talking about some idea he had that we already know didnt work but it was like news to him that it doesnt work. And I am like, why is he imagning things in a circle. So ok ok ok, just people stuff lets ignore it, I am always seeing things and cant pay too much stock, not like I can do anything with any of that anyway, just interesting. But then, I ran into another issue with work stuff, that was exactly the same as another issue I had before and was like wait a second, now more things are all hittin this line? Every aspect of life is pointing at a repeat and I know in my life experience, when something is on repeat, its usually because it’s begging you to break out of it.
Dagaz
So I have been kind of sitting in a very strange spot in my life… in the words of Baba Ram Das, nowhere to stand. Almost like, everything has been pointing to the fact that their is nothing that can be guaranteed. It doesnt really matter what rules or policy or practice, their is always some other factor that has plays in things. And the more I look around at everything that has been happening I start questionning things. I am looking and seeing the pings to wake up to something. I am feeling the extreme ends of my waves, I am seeing the vast possibilities from where I stand. I am seeing that not a single one is determined by me in a way. Yes I direct myself where I believe growth is the best for all involved, but essentially how the rest of the universe takes me, I really have no idea. So how can I be so different and so the same? And recently…nowthat I am thinking about it, I have experienced an extremely lonely and difficult time, and it really feels so strange as I recognize my reaction to it and yet at the same time, it feels different, like the inner space of it is more potent. But also detached from the events themselves although recognizing and feeling it all. So I decide to pull my runes, a single rune, to which I say, I will follow no matter what it says, laughing to myself as I imagine which itll be. But, I pull Dagaz.
The final step in the initiation of change. Breakthrough, transformation. It speaks of radical trust and may involve taking a leap into the void, reveal your warrior nature….
