Interesting People
So life has been a bit of a mystery for a little bit now. Not that it isnt usually a mystery, but it has been very apparent when it has come to the people in and around my life. I wouldnt really say this in terms of like permanant presences in my flow, but more like a very surprising channeling of people coming and going that I did not expect. I have made some really good friends, that have been pulled into their lives and feel too distant than I would like. I have had a lot of old friends come back after a long time and spending time together has been such a warm and encouraging expereince. I have had people, who stepping into my path with all the right words and sayings, only to buckle when the slightest of obstacles happened in their path. Others I have seen promise the world, and then fall into the usual clinging of scarcity. But overall, it has been quite funny, I have seen so many funny human behaviors in just the last week or so. Like people putting on a show of sorts, then being totally the opposite, others acting as if they are nothing, but then being so much more when the universe gave them a chance. I have seen people who are afraid do things that amaze me, I have seen those that are guarded open, I have seen those who are unsure suddenly flip into ego, the swirling of people in all sorts of ways and it just amazes me. Granted, its exhausting at times too, like how do you all expect me to act when your mouth moves entirely different from your body XD. But I guess I am really the only one who pays attention in those subtle ways that I see creeping up. I dunno, sometime I just think I make up these things I see, the subtle patterns, the inner shifts, the tone, the language behind the words…… but like hole crap, I am right a lot…. not that it really does me any good hahaha.
and me?
And you know, after I sat and thought about this a million different ways, reflectied on it throughout all of times in my life, then moved into a flow I could understand, I just laugh. Because, ofc I turn it on myself and see in what ways I do things that are out of the ordinary, in what way do I behave in paradoxes, in whats way do I get lost, or freaful or simply drift. What makes one move closer, another away, what makes one a memory and another a vibration, what is it that pulls me to some and then lets others just be. And I suppose thats something I kind of found out through all my internal world. It doesnt ever follow the way its supposed to be. Yes you can accurately bargain against one direction or another, and sure, maybe most the time your right. But, the truth is, anything, anyone…. at any time can suddenly change all the laws of what is, and I mean really is, not what needs convincing or agreement. And even more, I fond most times they never even know it themselves, in fact, can be totally convinced otherwise. And what more, it applies to me just as much as anyone else. In one moment I can look around and know my direcion, know my purpose, know my souls song…… and in the next, its totally different. And the craziest part…..the second before it was totally true, and a second later when its entirely different, its also true. Its just like, I look at those in my life, what they are, how they are, how we are….and I am nothing but grateful for the truely wondrous poeple that I am lucky to share a gllimpse of time with. Then another moment comes and I feel the pain of the life I live in this way and wonderly deeply about it and what it means, if anything. How many times have I known, how many times was it clear, how many times did I find peace in the world only to shift to a new one moments later when the same rules no longer applied. I am not exactly sure about any of this stuff and I think it just might be part of who I am that I bother thinking about it at all. But at the same time I just think…… well someone should think about it and apparently I am built that way, whatever that way might be lol. Its like, if you asked me 2 weeks ago what I thought and felt, then I would not be able to tell you that I would feel and think as I do now. Yet nothing really has changed that much in the swirl of life, but at the same time the current under it all has felt like it caught once again. Or you know, it totally has XD beats me. All I know is that its like the lives of my being exploded into a million pieces with me residing on one I have never experienced before. But now, the debris collects back at the core and is weaving back in things I would not imagine would fit in this space……but I can tell….. I am so happy to have them in me. I haven no idea what tomorrow brings, but I am happy for the beautiful things I have experienced. Whats the worst that can happen? I die? No big deal, I die all the time hahahaaaaa Whatever 😛 come at me bro XD
