Yay no one bothered me this morning XD
Honestly, the last couple days have been just to crazy, nonstop demands, running around, handling this, doing that, driving me nuts. I mean it’s ok because I held it all together and turned it into a lot of good stuff, but also lol it’s so annoying XD. I mean, it just seems like the universe likes to task me with holding everyones worlds together all the time, like it just keeps dumping piles of chaos and goes, ok good luck. But I kind of laugh because it has no idea, bro, inside my head has been chaos my whole life and I never had any idea. So I pretty much had to survival learn to manage it all because I had to live and move through all the things of life while simultaneously managing the fact that my inner world seems to take in everything in so many ways that others just dont seem to see. Its like when you notice the universe is winking at you, when a song comes on that makes you think about someone and then it comes on again a minute later. Seeeeeee this is exactly waht im talking about (A song just came on that means a great deal to me, that 99% would hvae no chance of playing, but for whatever reason comes on now). And its like that is just something that I take a lot of stock in. When the universe winks at me I have learned to watch, listen, hear what it is saying. What is it saying, what is it doing, what is it encouraging me to do? And even though it is something that others might not see, might not recognize, might dismiss as a throw away entertainment, to me it is the essence of life whispering to anyone who will look. And with this, I find the strength to do things others would say are impossible, it gives me the remiinder at just the right time to hold on just one day more, just one moment of awareness to make a choice, just a blip that opens infinite possiblity and reminds me of how real all of that can be.
Well, sort of lost track of what I was talking about hahaha. Oh right lol the chaos, the weaver of chaos, the insanity of a mind and the joy of flowing with it and letting the flow of life work through me. This is why I crack up when insanity happens because to me, its where I live and in that I can hold total peace and stillness, and through that I hold the ability to make change, to open space for new things to come and new worlds to be created. Do I know exectly where its going to go, no idea. But I see the wink, i hear the whisper, I see the current and I move forward knowing that what is deep within me does not ever die, does not ever fail, does not ever quit, not matter how long I was lost, no matter how much pain I went through, no matter what chaos is presented to me. I feel deep in my heart the truth and I listen to the whispers that remind me to believe.
Oh Yeah Sleep
I totally forgot that I started this just talking about how finally I got some rest after a few chaotic days. It’s so nice when that happens and holy crap I really needed it. OMG you know I am talking directly to you right hahaha. You know whats kind of crazy, like….. all of it hahaha. But you know what is even crazier, that even with all of this, even with all the mystery, the fear, the vibrations, the seeming randomness of it and no floor to stand on…… I look in your eyes and feel the deepest peace I have ever felt. I look at the entire universe of chaos and mess and trouble and explosions and all that……. and I feel you and none of it phases me one bit. In fact, it all pales in comparrison to the depth of that feeling. And you know what it is making me think of…. how much I just want to look at the stars with you. To just sit with you, really with you, both there, both together, no needing anything else, not having to prove anything, not needing to make some concept or make some declaration or assurance. My heart already knows… and you, with me, not performing, but just being, nothing in all of existence comes even close. And the truth, at least for me, is no matter the random patterns of the physical world, I am always in that space with you. Thanks for making me smile so much this morning, I appreciate you more then the air I breathe ♥.
