Time & Trust
So I have been thinking back on time and trust as look through the history of my life. Its something that has come up a few times in discussion with people over the last few weeks. You see a friend of mine who moved back to this area after living in NYC for years was talking with me on the change. They pretty much picked up their whole life and took the leap to start something new, which isnt that unusual. But the interesting part about it was how they discussed what and why they are doing it. It wasnt that it was a new plan or a simple moving of their system, but rather a revival of something they had long forgotten to follow. I was curious why they decided to do so, and what exactly made them take this chance when they were established where they were. What they shared was pretty interesting.
They told me that they had no idea how it was going to work, they had no idea how it would play out and had no real backing to do so. I asked them, so how did you know to do it? And they said, “It was always there, I just never allowed myself to walk with it.”. They went on to explain how little flashes of this had appeared consistently throughout their life. They would get the feeling, see an image, experience a wave and when they looked back, it became clear to them that they had always been pulled towards this step, even though the circumstances of life had pulled them elseware. It was like all the challenges and obstacles that they went through, all the hurdles and strength were always building them to be where they are. Like the universe was always gearing them for this shift even though they were not aware of it.But once they finally sat and looked inside to their deepest inner truth, their was no other option, this was always the plan, they just had to have faith to move with it. And more importantly, they said to me “Once I started, the signs became impossible to ignore, the stars I would see, the opporunities that opened, the people that I met all began to line up with where my heart was.” They begin to tell me about chance meetings, clarity through seeming circumstance, little miracles that kept pointing them towards this truth. And by holding these and allowing them to be in their life they found more strength and courage to move through all the shifts that had to take place. “The right things and people always came at just the right time to help guide the process”.
It May Be
So, oddly enough after talking to them, another friend was sharing about Zen mediations and the stillness found in them. And this made me think back on the old Zen proverb “It may be”. You the story is about an old zen practitioner who lived out in the country. One day his son came home to help him and the people whould all come to him and say how lucky he was that he had his farm and son, and he replaied, “It may be”. Then his son, working on the farm, had an accident and it had rendered him bedridden, and everyone told him how unlucky it was that his son was hurt and he replied “It may be”. Then a war broke out and the conscriptors came to his house, but because of his sone conidtion he could not go to war, and everyone said how lucky your son didnt have to go to war and he replied “It may be”. You can carry it on forever but its meant to shed a light on the perspective and undestanding of the world around us as it unfolds. Something can appear one way, have all the reasons behind it and make total sense, and yet, can ultimately be the opposite. The world does not bend to the laws of man, but the laws of man must comply with what spirit decides. Its our awareness and perspective that allow us to see that what it appears is not always what it seems and that often, the universe has plans for use that we might not see if we cannot take the opporunity to clear ourselves and open to what is the process of ever changing life.
Its an interesting story that makes me think about my friends story and then my own. I think back on all the challenges I have endured that seemed pointless, all the pain I had to go through, all the situation I experienced that I did not want or understand but was forced to go through. I reflect how everything I ever was, built me into what I am and that these circumstances were anything but. I am now a man with a specific makeup that was forged through the fires of life to give me strengths and awareness to things that line up to what I hold as an ever growing openess to life as it comes. I see my pains help others, i see my challenges open doors or give space or hold when they need to. I see how even managing my deepest fears and hurt has made an understanding in me that not everyone gets and how that lines up perfectly with who I am and who I am becomming. I still get afraid, I still get confused and I still want to know answers to things that are not up to me. But, I now see that their has always been guides along the way, whispers in the wind, lights that shine onto the darkenss. All of existence organized perfectly for all of this to be exactly what it is, if it wasnt, then it would not be. So, feel the fear, but trust, experience the minds projection but know it is the weaving of life that makes the call. Awareness and presence. Not just aware of the mind and its patterns, but of the call of the stars that pull like gravity on our souls. We are not our minds, we are not our bodies, we are not just us, but so much more. So be who you are, not the idea of you, but the deepest truth of you and trust the universe to align you to where your meant to be. I see it backwards, but can I hold it forwards even as I explore the unknown? What other choice is their? Not like my mind guessed right no matter the evidence XD so lets go universe, whatcha got in mind, I am here for it all.
